Your relationship has ended painfully, leaving you crushed with agony. As you begin to discover new reasons to embrace single, he appears and pleads you to take him back.
Before you jump into convincing yourself that things have changed and he is now a different (and better) person, slow down and consider rationally. Examine the reasons for the break up. Perhaps one of you could no longer reignite the sparks? Maybe he could never seem to get along with your family? Or he maliciously dumped you for another woman? Whatever the myriad of reasons were, you are gravely warned if your ex falls under one of these toxic breeds:
The Chronic Liar
This is a self-aggrandizing man who spews whoops every time he opens his mouth. The lying frequency hikes up to the point where the art of deception has acceded itself into a self-fulfilling habitual way of life. You can never guess when he is telling the truth because odds are; He would rather spin the tales then play out the real scenarios. When caught off-guard, his lies are sure to flow into an outstretched clip, aptly delivered to you.
The Cheating Heartbreaker
A shrewd deceiver, he wittingly keeps you in the dark while he stays out late after dark and rolls in just before dawn. Almost like the chronic liar, he piles up conflicting stories to cover up for his ambiguous disappearance. As things take a turn for the worse, sweet affections to you serve as magicaholic treats and your once robust sex life is essentially non-existent. When persecuted by your speculation, he uses reverse psychology by acting mad and getting defensive to turn the tables on the situation.
The Manipulative Abuser
Arguably the most toxic of all types, psychologists call this breed the cowardly bully. He is capable of stripping you of your mental, physical and emotional worth and taking you on a nightmarish emotional roller coaster. Otherwise known as a mind-games guru, his disparaging remarks are disguised as jokes and the devastating insults are justified as constructive critisms. At times, his explosions of rage hits like a volcanic eruption, leaving you as a battered bird with multiple stab wounds. As soon as he senses your crave for freedom, he instantly resort to devious threats and subversive brainwashing tactics.
The Jeopardous Addict
We are not quite talking about your poor bloke who is addicted to ESPN or The World of Warcraft. This destructive dud is a substance abuser, a compulsive gambler, an alcoholic or a sex junkie. Notably gifted in disappearing in the dust, he routinely escapes into an isolated zone for days to binge on his noxious obsession. Detox and rehab are mere passing phases in the vicious cycle. You ever find yourself assuming the role of a counselor and struggle to inject a ray of hope in his addiction.
The Freeloader
Yes the roles have switched, and yes there is such a thing as a free ride. Better known as the slimy human leech, he is infamous for mooching off you. You will never catch him paying a dime for a single thing, from the bills to the groceries; Forget about movies and dinners. Over time, he ups his game by loaning funds off your hard-earned pay checks. The last straw came when he expects you to pay his fancy golf-club membership.
While it is not entirely true that the above relationships are beyond remedy, you will have to consider very carefully on the consequences of allowing this man back into your life.
If your ex was a cheater, make an effort to understand the primary reason for his unfaithfulness and then work towards processing and grieving the affair. Did he stray due to his addiction to sex? Or was the lack of intimidation or connection in your relationship the underlying issue? Some men simply had poor role models to define appropriate relationship behaviors and boundaries. In order to overcome the ordeal, both partners need to find a way to forgive and start anew with each other.
In the case of a freeloader, the direct approach often works best. Most freeloaders grow up with a sense of learned helplessness – that someone will eventually foot the tab at the end of the day. Freeloaders are predominately selfish and irresponsible, and it is time to make them fully reflect on their behavior. Tell them that the bills need to be split, and he will have to play his part in contributing finances to the relationship. If he refuses to agree, then it is your choice to discern if you will be able to live with it, or him.
However, if you are dealing with a chronic liar, an abuser, or an addict, the advice is to bail out immediately. Not only will these partners create a spear of distrust in a relationship, you will often be left feeling confused, betrayed and angry. Do not fall into the trap of believing you can change them – you can not.
source http://bitcoinswiz.com/is-your-ex-worth-a-second-chance/
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